Denmark x Reader - One Way To Celebrate a Birthday

People feared you.

Though, what was not to fear? With how excited and arrogant the taps of your feet resounded against the old-fashioned, wooden floor in a way as if warning anyone who dare stay in the pub to surrender? With how you all giggled and tittered in a way that would have been considered innocent if not in such an unusual scenery? With how only four ‘humans’ could cause such worry and doubt to all who was nearby?

People feared you, the alcoholic idiots.

“Hey! Frau, give us your finest beer! We have a celebration to get drunk from!” Prussia exclaimed with his signature smirk. His strut was incredibly cocky compared to the rest of you, and the aura of confidence truly would have made anyone question him or herself if they thought of him as anything but awesome.

The barman turned round, his stance stiff, intimidating but calm. You wondered how Prussia had even begun to mistake the male for a woman, since he seemed to radiate manliness to such high extents. He was as tall as Russia (maybe even more so) and as muscular as Greece, Turkey and Germany combined. Really, the only thing someone could have considered ‘feminine’ of him was his long hair, but even with it he seemed to be heights of masculinity.

Knowing he had messed up, Prussia let out a nervous snicker but tried to keep his confidence. “Oh…whoops.”


The worker grunted, but got to preparing four brews of his ‘finest’ drinks for you all. You all were regular customers so without even being told an order he knew what pints you all enjoyed. Again, it confused you further on how Prussia had managed to misidentify the poor bloke, especially when he had to deal with all your silliness.

You apologized to the workman and sent him a charming smile, which he returned with a tiny twinkle of his own.

Paying the fellow and thanking him for his kindness and especially as to what was to come, you found your seat and passed the beverages among the four of you, and watched as the labourer walked off to go talk to an elderly couple, who looked far too innocent to be in a place like this.

“Come on you lot, you’re not going to leave me waiting, are you?” You teased, allowing the one metal bar of the seat to help you from not falling off the chair when you leaned back. “We have drinks to be drunken!”


“Dude, could you sound any less posh?” America joked, taking a seat on your left as Prussia sat next to him. “Seriously man, you sound just like old man England.”


“Now, now, you must respect your elders, young one. Who else would have helped you through your childhood predicaments?” You responded, trying to sound even luxurious just to confuse and mock the American further. “Now let us celebrate this glorious day.”

“Would you stop talking like that? It’s really boring.” America whined, taking a large gulp of his ale. “I swear you’re just doing it to annoy me.”


“You might be right there.” You chaffed, leaning your elbow against the countertop. “I do enjoy watching you turn from a cocky country to a baffled child.”

America pouted – which just proved your point further – and lifted his tankard up in a way that he just seemed to mumble his sentence into his cup. “…You’re really mean sometimes, you know that right?”

“Isn’t she always?” Prussia joked, and watched as his other friend took a seat on your right. Before he even allowed you to retort, he leaned forward and sent his wiggling eyebrows towards a certain Scandinavian blonde. “But isn’t that what you like Den-“

“Anyway, are you three going to continue silly small talk or are we going to get drunk already? We have a competition to do you know.” Denmark interrupted, trying to ignore the slight blush that could have shined on his cheeks.

Though you were fully ready to do what Denmark said without any complaints or notice to what Prussia was going to say, Prussia and America were very different since they kept glancing at one another with knowing looks and cheeky smirks.

Then they burst into giggles like little schoolgirls.

“What the…” You muttered in uncertainty, staring at your friends as they snickered so much you worried if their brains had finally cracked. They did try to explain themselves, but in between every sentence was more cackling and you were expected that chortling was the only thing they were ever going to tell you.

Rolling your eyes with a sigh, you glanced at Denmark with a soft grin, ignoring the increasing chuckles behind you. “I think they’ve finally cracked.”


“Nah, just give them a minute. They’ll recover eventually. This tends to happen, often.” Denmark remarked, sending you his infamous loopy grin that looked adorable on him but would have looked ridiculous on anyone else. “What about you, hey? It’s not like you haven’t jested either.”


“Oh how you’ve caught me red-handed! What am I ever going to do now?” You distressed dramatically, flinging the back of your hand onto your forehead like all those dramatic Disney princesses you watched as a child, and now.

Denmark chuckled, something that stood out more than the howling of the two imbeciles behind you. “Maybe explain to me why it’s taking you so long to drink your refreshment? Usually you’re a lot quicker.”


You giggled in such a way that he couldn’t quite tell if you were flirting or acting sinless. “I’m surprised you picked up on that, I would have thought it creepy if we didn’t go to the pub so often. To answer your question, we’re having a competition aren’t we, birthday boy? Slowness is key to winning. After all, how else did the tortoise beat the hare?”


Amused and interested, Denmark traced the rim of his empty mug, enjoying the way your (nationality) tongue purred some of the letters in certain words. He enjoyed the nickname also, and assumed it was payback for when it was your birthday and all he would ever refer you to was ‘the birthday girl’. He should have guessed you’d do the same for his birthday.

“Slowness is key?” Prussia questioned, finally calming down from his euphoria of laughter. He raised a brow as the edge of his lips rose up also, and without even bothering to tease about you and Denmark conversing, he scoffed. “That’s Scheiße. The quicker you drink the better you’ll get! I should know; I’m the country of beer!”


Forgetting about the enjoyable amount of ‘flirting’ with Denmark, you turned your head to look into the flaming red eyes of your companion and showed him a smirk that challenged his own. “Well I’m pretty sure my country is very famous for its alcohol too, or have you forgotten that?”


He watched as you finally finished your cup and placed it on the bar counter and when doing so, he hollered the muscular employee over for another round. “But you’re not as much as Germany, are you?”


Pouting, you crossed your arms over your chest and watched as the worker – who you knew as John due to his nametag – skillfully mixed alcohols together from the correct amount to the correct cleanliness. “Oh shush and let us enjoy this for Denmark’s sake.”


“You’re just worried that I’ll beat you.” Prussia countered, thanking John for his services once the second round of liquor was placed on the table.


You stared hard for a moment, almost scaring Prussia before bursting into laughter, surprising the entire group. The idea of you being worried was comical, especially since you knew how strong your gut was. “Oh don’t be silly. The only thing I’m going to be worried about is how much hassle it’ll be when I have to drag your drunken bum back home.”


Prussia leered in light-heartedness and swallowed all of his booze as if it were ordinary water. “We’ll see about that, frau!”

It was an absurd idea to even think that Prussia had a chance to defeat you, but you surrendered to the suggestion just to soothe him a little. You took a gentle sip, savouring the sensation of it rolling down your throat and burning it in a way that was enjoyable before you mumbled a soft, “We’ll see indeed…”


So as the two of you kept babbling on about who shall win, completely ignoring your other comrades in an act of proving your self-worth, America moved his seat to sit next to good old Denmark, flashing a teasing smile his way.


“Oh now what are you smiling about?” Denmark jested, his pearls shining harmlessly compared to America’s bizarre and unusual behaviour. Maybe it was the way he seemed to be flashing a ‘you know what’ with just his eyes or maybe it was because of the fact that he had a beam that could have outmatched the Cheshire cat on his face? Either way, it was rather uncomfortable.

“Oh come on dude! You know what!” The overexcited man-child bellowed so loudly that Denmark wondered if you and Prussia had overheard him. Probably so, but neither one of you turned and bothered to ask what was up.

He looked around for a moment, as if a spy about to tell the greatest secret he ever knew. He then turned back to Denmark with a teasing smile and whispered as quietly as he could (which was really just an average volume), “Prussia and (Your country) seem a bit…close, don’t you think?”


“Well yeah, but they’re friends, what do you expect?” Denmark reasoned, though inside he was questioning it himself. He never regarded him a man of worry, especially when a lot of his memories seemed to be filled with him grinning, but just the mention of such an ‘idiotic’ idea was now making him wonder too.

So as America continued talking, he kept making glances at the close proximity and the cheeky comments the speaking devils were interacting with, “Yeah sure, but she never stays so close to me. She didn’t even-“


“Hey John, another round please?” Denmark asked, interrupting America’s reasoning on purpose just to soothe his jumbled mind. The brain surely did go mental when something was worthy enough to distress it. Especially when the issue came to a certain (brunette/blonde/ext) damsel that managed to make his mind became as puzzled as a jigsaw with missing pieces.

America pouted.

“Hey, don’t just go using John to change the subject!” America bawled, though he glanced up at John – who was very amused but would not show it – and with his arms folded against his chest, mumbled, “Don’t forget the large mug John.”


John seemed even more enlivened at America’s quick submissiveness, but nodded and started mixing up the drinks and sorting out the mugs for the next round that you’d all probably regret having the next morning. Well, it was better than drugs.

Though just before Denmark could get his wallet out to pay, a petite hand rested against his firm chest to stop him and submitted the bills to John instead.

Lifting his head up, the blonde looked into the orbs of (eye colour) hues and knew immediately who it was; and because of that, the simple touch she was committing now became a lot more flustering. “(Your country), you didn’t need to pay, I have money.”

You giggled softly and shook your head at the silly accusation. “Of course I know you have money, but don’t worry about it. I insist…”


For a second, Denmark was sure you had just glanced at him with flirtatious, half-lidded eyes but as soon as the notion had even buzzed in his mind were you back to laughing to something Denmark had completely forgotten about.

Prussia and America took looks at each other, almost questioning if they had seen the same thing. They both smirked, deciding they had but didn’t say anything as they kept wiggling their eyebrows in Denmark’s way, who was trying his upmost best not to respond to any of it.

Lifting your cup and enjoying the swirls of hypnotism when you watched the yellow liquid slosh against the edges, you leaned your head back to the three men and sent them a challenging grin. “I think we’ve had enough talking, don’t you? I say we better get drunk already or this will be one dull birthday party!”


America, Prussia and Denmark let out a cheer of agreement as they made themselves comfortable on their seats and started gulping down their wallops in no time at all, completely forgetting about the previous flirting. You kept up with the speed, but were a lot more…gradual with your sips.

It continued like that really. With beer after beer after beer being bought and golloped by you four as if you hadn’t had anything to drink in days and jokes being resounded which wouldn’t have been funny if you all weren’t getting high on alcohol. You all were enjoying the time, especially Denmark, as you all laughed, gossiped, jested and drank.

Though it wasn’t nearly as fun until certain people got truly intoxicated.

“(Your naaaaaaame)!” Denmark whined, ignoring formalities such as your country’s title as he clung onto you like a protective snake. He buried his head into your neck, breathing warm air onto it without knowing. It tickled, but you tried to ignore it. “I want moooooooore!”


“Now, now, I think we’ve had quite enough already.” You reasoned, giggling from the tickling sensation from Denmark’s puffing. “Especially considering it’s quite obvious now who’s won this competition…”


That was you, if you hadn’t guessed. You had been taking the exact same amount of alcohol into your veins as America, Prussia and Denmark but were not nearly as drunk as they were; not at all actually. Remember when you said you had a strong gut? Well you weren’t lying.

You tried to untangle yourself from the Nordic gent but could only manage your arms free. You decided that was good enough for you as you rewarded the barman with a tip for having to put up with you four. You were almost tempted to give one to the customers here as well, considering they had to cope with you countries as well.

John was grateful for the extra cash, and gave you a small nod in gratitude. He opened his mouth to ask a rather obvious and used question, but you politely intervened before he had to bother.

“Don’t worry, I should be fine to carry them to the car.” You answered, an adorable gleam formed on your lips.

Though hesitant, John knew you were quite capable and gave you another nod in acknowledgement as he thoroughly cleaned a mug that had most probably been used by your gang.

Glad he didn’t question further since John knew when to ask and when not to, you looked over to America and Prussia – since Denmark was quite fine just being wrapped around your legs – and noticed how all they did was giggle like hyenas as if they had just invented the best joke in the whole wide world. Honestly, they looked exactly like how they were at the beginning except they had barely any restraint this time.

Though they didn’t have much to begin with.

It was only when they decided this would be a dandy time to make out with one another when you interceded, trying your best to drag the tall nation around your feet in the process. You probably would have found this more comical if it wasn’t for all the x-ray glares you were getting from the sober consumers.

“Hmm…” America hummed in time with Prussia, their lips synchronizing in a sloppy rhythm. Though as soon as you saw the tip of a tongue escape one of their mouths, you were sprinting their way, ignoring the groans of pain that was being emitted by your foot pet.

As quickly as lightning, you grabbed the back of both of their heads and pushed each other away, grimacing, as a line of saliva was the only thing that now connected each other. “Gross…”


“Heeeeeee-“ America hiccupped and giggled at the weird sound. “Wait…that wasn’t nice! We weren’t doneeeee!”


“Oh shush and follow me. You can do that once we’re in the car and at your house.” You replied, dragging them by the back of their collar towards the door, slowly. “…Actually please don’t do that either. I’m pretty sure you both would be pissed if you guys ‘did it’ together.”


“Whaaaat? Don’t be absurd!” Prussia shouted loudly, moving his face too close to comfort towards America’s. “I wouldn’t be mad… I want to be pregnant!”

“Oh Prussia…” America cooed like a lovestruck anime girl, his face flushing. “I want you to be pregnant too!”


“Then lets make this work Kinderlein!” Prussia announced though you made sure to separate them before they jumped each other again.


“Do it later.” You mumbled, smirking all the way to the door, as all you were received was incoherent sentences and groans of annoyance from them because they were not able to ejaculate together.

Though as you shuffled to the exit, a soft meow and a tug to your pencil skirt caught your attention as you looked down to the flushed Danish man underneath you, who had the most content of smiles on his face. “Elsker…”


You raised your eyebrow. “Yes Denmark?”


He rubbed his face against your toned legs, enjoying how soft they were against his sharp cheekbones. “I want to be pregnant toooooo…”

You flushed too. Almost looking as drunk as they were. The idea of a male pregnant was ridiculous, you knew this, but that didn’t mean to process of getting pregnant was out of the ordinary.

Shaking your head, you showed him an amused and teasing smirk and replied, “Do it later.”


He whined and cuddled into you more, his face getting a bit too close to looking up your skirt than comfortable, but didn’t complain as he pondered on how to convince you to ‘do it later’.

So as you journeyed away from the tavern, keeping a rein on all of their behaviour, you couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip at how much flirting you had managed to do to a man who was currently holding you like an oversized teddy bear.

Though one thing you knew would be the simplest lesson of all was this:

You had a damn good alcohol tolerance.